History Repeat
by Lilikoifish
Summary: Brief Summary: my sister and I were clearing the dishwasher and making stupid parodies up.  THIS IS A GIFT TO SOMEONE.  This is an impromptu parody that I came up with and needed a link to, so I posted it here.  Full summary inside.  PARODYcontains incest


**Title: **History Repeat

**Rating/Genre: **T/Parody

**Summary (Full): **(A parody by Lfish…it's kinda weird) So my sister and I were complaining about the little Fire Emblem slump that the Fire Emblem fandom had for a while with fics while clearing the dishwasher, so I began my rant with a little stereo-type fic that I randomly came up with as an impromptu. And…I was going to link it so that I could give it to someone…only there was nothing to link it to. So, I posted it here. **SUMMARY…THE REAL ONE**: AU, post-war. The Demon King has been released again! Can Scott save Magvel with a little help from a young ruler? This is a PARODY and contains incest and OOCness.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Fire Emblem.

**A/N: **As a precaution to all you parody-haters or people that hate stereo-types, **PLEASE DO NOT READ THIS FIC**. I don't want to have to waste my time reading your complaints, okay?

_**WARNING!!!: DO NOT READ FURTHER IF YOU DO NOT LIKE PARODIES, STEREO-TYPES, DUMB HUMOR, MARY-SUE/GARY-STU BASHING, OOCness JOKES, INTERRUPTIONS, OR FIRE EMBLEM!**_

**History Repeat**

_Prolouge_

_**THIS IS YOUR LAST WARNING. PLEASE READ ABOVE. I DON'T WANT TO WASTE MY TIME READING YOUR FLAMES IF YOU GIVE ONE. **_

_**INTERRUPTIONS/RANDOM AUTHOR COMMENTS ARE GIVEN THROUGHOUT THE FIC AND ARE IN PARENTHESIS (another joke concept).**_

"Push Eirika!" Ephraim gripped Eirika's hand tightly.

"I'm trying," Eirika groaned. After many hours of pushing, groaning, and very unpleasant screaming, a small cry was heard and the baby was pulled out.

"Congratulations, milady," Seth bowed deeply, hiding his jealousy of Ephraim. But he knew that his jealousy was very foolish indeed. After all, the child belonged to Ephraim and Eirika, not himself, Seth, and Eirika.

"What shall we name him?" Eirika asked weakly.

"Scott," Ephraim said randomly, not knowing how the heck he came up with such a weird name.

"That's a beautiful name, Brother," Eirika said.

"Of course," Ephraim said, leaning to kiss his wife…and sister at the same time.

"How in the world did you come up with that name?" Eirika asked.

"I named him after our great-grandfather," Ephraim said boldly, even though there was no way that anyone would be named Scott at that time.

As the years passed by, Scott grew older and learned the skills of the lance **and** the sword. Although his skill at both were remarkable, something in Magvel would happen that would change his life forever…

(End of Prolouge)

* * *

_Chapter 1_

"THE DEMON KING HAS BEEN RELEASED!" Eirika gasped one morning as she awoke; as such news often visits mothers that have just had a baby.

"Oh no!" Scott yelled, hearing the terrible news—even though he was three floors about his mother's bedroom.

"Don't worry Mother! I will save Magvel!" Scott yelled again, his voice somehow managing to travel three floors downward. [[I feel sorry for anyone who happened to be walking by his room at the time…

"Son, you can't! It's too dangerous!" Ephraim said.

"But it's my only chance to prove myself worthy!" Scott whined.

"Worthy of what?"

"…of taking someone's virginity." Ephraim did not reply to this comment, but his facial expression was something along these lines: OO.

"Oh, Scott, I know you'll do just as well as you father did," Eirika sighed.

What was so special about Scott was that he didn't have any abnormalities from the incestuous relationship his parents shared.

"I'M A FAIRY!" Scott yelled as he was running through the courtyard. Nevermind that.

So Scott set out on his epic adventure with no food, no water, and Hijrun, the Sacred Water Lance of Renais that he had found in the secret treasure chamber that he shouldn't have been looking through. Anyway, he smashed through giant bands of pirates that blocked his path to Grado without the help of anyone except Hijrun, who wasn't a person. He was magically not tired at all. [[Seriously…is he on steroids or something? XD

Anyway, Scott walked through the gates and into the castle of Grado without any fuss because the guards didn't notice him…that and he looked a LOT like Ephraim and Eirika—even though he had brown hair.

Scott walked into the throne room where Grado's 10 year old ruler sat.

"Who goes there?" the little girl asked.

"It is I, Prince Scott of Renaissance!" Scott declared. "I mean…Renais!" _Come ON…Renaissance has the word Renais in it…_Scott said in his head.

"Hello Scott," the little girl sitting on the giant throne said. Her legs dangled childishly from the edge of the throne. She scooted herself to the edge of the throne and looked down. It seemed like such a far way down.

"FOR GOODNESS' SAKE, SOMEONE HELP ME OFF THIS THING!" she yelled. "Shows what kind of henchmen I have…"

"I'll help you," Scott held out his arms and caught the little girl as she jumped into them. It was love at first sight, I swear.

"And you name is…" Scott began.

"Lily," the girl replied.

"Lily…what a beautiful name!" Scott said dreamily.

"What are you, a voyeur?" Lily asked incredulously.

"Of course not! I'm just someone on a quest to save Magvel…and to take a young girl's virginity," Scott answered.

"Ew! Child molester!" Lily leapt out of Scott's arms and took shelter by the nearest pillar. "You're the same age as I am…10! How could you—"

"Don't worry, Lily. I won't take yours," Scott said cheerfully. Lily didn't respond, but her facial expression was like this: OO. (Can anyone say…early puberty? XD)

"Help me save Magvel, Lily. I beseech you!" Scott pleaded.

"Fine, I'll help you. Remember this, though: I'm only doing this because you have a good vocabulary for a 10 year old," Lily snorted. Scott replied with his thanks.

"But first…" Lily smiled evilly and drew a tome from her robe. She began to chant.

"What do I do? What do I do?" Scott asked aloud.

"You sit there and let me destroy you," Lily said bitterly. All of a sudden, Scott heard a voice. [[And down from the heavens…descended Chuck Norris…XD Just kidding.

"_Scott! Use your sacred power! The power given to those who survive insanity from incest!_" the voice cried.

"Who are you?" Scott asked.

"Your mother's, uncle's, cousin's, wife's, second cousin twice-removed!"

"Okay…"

"I will unlock it for you!"

"How do you know about it?" Scott asked.

"Because I TOO was born from an incestuous relationship!"

"Okay…"

"There we go…it's unlocked," the random voice said.

"DIE!" Lily snarled, who was finally done with her spell, but coincidentally at the wrong moment.

"I won't die just yet!" Scott laughed. "Now! POWER OF LOVE!"

"Aiiiieeee!" Lily screeched, as she collapsed on the floor. Surprisingly, no one was very interested in the commotion.

"You've won me over, Scott…body and mind," Lily gasped.

"Good," Scott said. "Wait a minute…YOU'RE THE ONE WHO UNLEASHED THE DEMON KING!" Scott had sensed it from the very start. There had been something suspicious about her from the start, but it was apparently not very obvious.

"No Scott, I'm not…I swear," Lily said. "Even though I have the power to, I didn't."

"You have the power to…?" Scott wondered aloud. "WAIT A MINUTE!"

"Is that your favorite catchphrase?" Lily asked, her tone dripping with sarcasm.

"You're the former prince, Lyon's, secret hidden daughter!"

"Why of course," Lily smirked. "I'm telling you the truth, Scott. Believe me, and I'll let you steal my virginity even though I haven't hit puberty yet."

"I know I shouldn't believe you and that you're obviously trying to deceive me, but it's an offer I cannot pass up!" Scott exclaimed. "For the sake of the world…I must protect the ones I love!"

"Okay…what the hell?" Lily asked.

(End of Chapter 1)

* * *

_Chapter 2_

The two companions headed back to Castle Renais because Scott's special-person-sense-that-senses-everything was tingling and practically begging him to return to Castle Renais. They arrived there just as the sun was setting.

"The person who released the Demon King is here, Lily," Scott said. "Aw crap! Why didn't my stupid sense notice this sooner?"

"Don't ask me," Lily replied.

"Scott! Your mother is in danger! She's been hurt badly! She's weak!" a guard yelped.

"MOTHER!" Scott cried, and heroically dashed into the castle.

"Scott! Wait! You idiot…do you even know who's in there?" Lily smacked her forehead in exasperation.

"Scott…help…me…" Eirika was sprawled on the ground. "WHY, LATONA, WHY? IS THIS MY PUNISHMENT FOR HAVING SEX WITH MY BROTHER?"

"Uhh…" Scott gave his mother a weird look.

"So, Scott…you're here to stop me?" Scott whirled around to see he father standing in front of him with an evil look to him.

"F-Father…?" Scott asked.

(End of Chapter 2)

* * *

_Chapter 3 _

"That's right Scott, your father released me. The very one who imprisoned me..oh…15 years ago," the Demon King laughed. "MWAHAHAHA!"

"It can't be! Why would my father unleash you in the first place? And how could he have if the Sacred Stone that bound you is in Rausten?" Scott sobbed.

"Nevermind that," the Demon King swatted the comment away. "Give up now and join me. Your father is already long dead. I have eaten his soul…"

"NO, HE'S NOT DEAD! GIVE HIM BACK!" Scott plunged Hijrun, the Sacred Water Lance into the Demon King.

"Gaah…" the Demon King gurgled. Suddenly, Ephraim's face went back to normal for a few moments.

"Whoa…where'd you get the new lance?" he asked.

"Uh…I was digging through a treasure chamber and I found it," Scott answered. "It's one of the Sacred Twins of Renais, isn't it?"

"There are new Twins? How…interesting…" Ephraim said before disappearing.

"BROTHER!" Eirika wailed in agony and mourning. "YOU BAKA!"

"Haaaahhhh! GO! Ytunwe!" Lily yelled. A flock of seagulls flew overhead and pooped on the Demon King. "I SAID YTUNWE, NOT GUANO!" A pig appeared and farted a deadly green fart into the Demon King's face.

"That's better," Lily dusted off her tome.

"I've been killed…BY A PIG'S FART?" the Demon King gasped before he vanished into thin air.

"Wow! Not even WE could do that when we were sealing him away!" Eirika declared.

"Well, it's a spell I learned from my father," Lily said.

"Your father…? Lyon…?" Eirika burst into tears at the mention of her dead friend. Before Lily could answer, Scott rushed over and threw his arms around her.

"Lily!" he kissed her on the cheek.

"Agh! Scott!" Lily said, redness slowly creeping up her cheeks.

"Lily, I love you! I want you to marry me!"

"I do too, Scott, I will," Lily smiled. [[This is just weird now…Oo

"Wow…I guess incest runs in the family," Eirika said.

"Huh?" the two said in unison.

"Lily is my daughter as well. I…had to be with Lyon for a while," Eirika stammered.

"THEN HOW THE HELL ARE YOU 10?" Scott asked.

"I used an aging spell on myself?" Lily answered, who was quite unsure of her answer.

"She's really 15, Scott," Eirika laughed. Scott pulled an OO face. After getting over his surprise, Scott sighed and told Lily, "Well regardless, I love you, and I want you to marry me even though I'm 5 years younger than you are."

"I don't care what age you are, Scott. Of course I'll marry you!" Lily threw herself upon Scott. She added hastily, "Just don't steal my virginity."

"But you promised!" Scott whimpered.

"I haven't hit puberty yet!"

"And you're 15?"

"SHUT UP!"

"I think you have, Lily," Eirika giggled.

"What?"

"There's blood on the back of your dress…" Eirika pointed out, sweat-dropping.

"NOOOOO!" Lily screamed. "This can't be!"

"It's okay, Lily. We still have to get married first, my love," Scott wrapped his arms around her waist tenderly.

"Yes, I know," Lily stared deep into Scott's beautiful blue eyes. They were the color of the sky. "You know, Scott, I've always wondered how you're so frickin' tall when you're only 10."

"Incest, my dear, incest," Scott smiled and kissed her gently on the lips.

And THAT marked the end of the Regeneration…of the world.

(Fin)

Oh…one more thing. It also marked the beginning of a new incest arc.

* * *

**A/N: **So there's my really random impromptu. I was actually making fun of a lot of things that I don't know if many of you caught. Anyway, please read this BEFORE reviewing:

_**THIS WAS A PARODY. PLEASE. A P-A-R-O-D-Y. IF YOU CAN'T ACCEPT THAT THERE ARE THINGS WORTH MAKING FUN OF IN THIS WORLD, DON'T REVIEW. I DON'T WANT TO WASTE MY TIME READING STUPID COMPLAINTS.**_


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